Paris Ruined My Relationship With Hustle Culture
On regrounding, reviewing my mindset, and taking the scenic route.
Growing up in a small town in Mississippi, the rush was really never there. The need to be early, plan, and be extra organized was never something I worried about. Years later into my life, I moved, grew, and changed in a lot of ways. I’m still the same person at my core, but my mind has grown far beyond my younger bounds. I’ve really had to grow into my life and change in ways that make the most sense for the new. I live in a city now with a level of hustle and bustle that can wash over you like a wave in the ocean.
With my previous ways, I was reliably late and truly never stressed about it. The flow I lived in meant I set my own parameters; I’ve always been a relatively routine person, but never a planner. Planning ahead for a trip, night out, excursion, or even a day about town was out of the question. I had a go-with-the-flow mentality to the fullest extent.
Then I met my husband.
He is a planner through and through and has carried a quick, somewhat rushed, planner mindset his entire life. He is the trip planner, the plan coordinator, and the one who finds comfort in the known. I’ve veered into his lane over the years, and he into mine. Consequently, we’ve both sort of merged our ways, with me becoming a bit more structured and him becoming a bit more relaxed; we’ve found a new lane.
We’ve struck a sweet balance in life where we can plan the trip in advance but not each day’s activities. We can meander around the city to explore and see where we end up, but still book a dinner reservation. Yet in life as a whole, we move quickly. Our lives are fast-paced, and we seem to like it that way. Living in a city, I also feel a slight pressure to move quicker, be ahead, and know what’s coming next, and I’ve kind of defaulted to this way of life outside of my slow mornings and relaxing at home. Efficiency has become very important in the day-to-day.
And now we’re in Paris.
Paris, in all its beauty, charm, and history, is a city that embodies the go-with-the-flow mentality. Thinking back a few days to our time in the airport, I was weaving in between fellow travelers, racing to get to baggage claim as fast as my legs could carry me. I started to get antsy—I was having real-life road rage while walking through the airport, with no connecting flight to catch. As the day progressed and the jet lag began to wear off, my mind cleared, and I realized I was walking faster than everyone else on the sidewalk.
Subconsciously, I’ve become the person squeezing through the crowd to move quicker and more efficiently. The reality check of “you’re on vacation, you’re not late, you’re not working, and Paris isn’t going anywhere” hit me, and I slowed myself again. After a day or so, I’ve settled into the way of life here, breezing through the arrondissements with a latte in hand, craning my neck at every building we pass, soaking in the architecture.
Paris makes you stop and smell the roses.
The Parisians are lounging by the water, reading a book in the middle of the day, with no agenda in sight. Enjoyment seems to come first. In the parks, books, newspapers, and scratchpads fill more hands than phones. In contrast to hustling cities like New York, it makes you wonder if a slower life is a happier one.
The way of life in Paris is undemanding. I can feel the tension leaving my body each time I bring myself back to reality. I can turn a five-minute walk into twenty if I feel like it. I can take the scenic route. I can sink back into the slowed-down state of mind I grew up in and not lose the growth I’ve gained. It’s not that I want to live in an unhurried world, but it’s not that I don’t. I find a leisurely lifestyle to be calming, and maybe the nostalgia and comfort of my childhood play a role, but it also keeps unnecessary stress at bay.
I’ve decided that I can merge the fast-paced present with the slow way of living from my past to create the kind of calm, semi-planned way of life that Parisians inhabit. It’s a special feeling when a place you’re visiting leaves a lasting impression. This city, with all of its lively energy, is so completely relaxed at every turn; it feels like a city stripped of stress. Paris didn’t change who I am; it just reminded me who I was before the rush. I’m bringing home more than just new clothes, accessories, and gifts– I’m bringing home a mindset shift.
Find your Bachét.