The Modern-Day Hunter and Gatherer

On resisting the almost-perfect, a silver ashtray a year in the making, and the old man who lives in my kitchen

Cavemen had spears. I have eBay. I don’t know exactly when the instinct kicked in, but I do have an innate desire to search for the perfect item. I’m a quality-over-quantity person, and this rings true in every area of my life.

I have an extensive library of tchotchkes–everything that fills my life is something I’ve hunted for and gathered along the way. A recent instance happened in Paris; I was in a curated antique store filled with amazing merchandise. Moments after I stepped inside, I saw it; I had stumbled upon this vintage ashtray that I had seen online a year prior. It’s a gorgeous silver flower, and each petal pulls off to create five individual mini ashtrays. Something I had on my mind for so long had just landed in my lap. Better yet, it had a story now, which made it all the more valuable, so I had to bring it home.

Stumbling on the perfect item feels like magic, like you’ve been struck with good luck, but seriously hunting for a piece is so rewarding in the end. During one of my trips to NYC earlier this year, I was on the hunt for a very specific addition to my closet. I could envision the jacket, but the only problem was that I didn’t know if it even existed. I knew the fit I wanted, the length of the fringe, the pattern, and the color. Luckily, I was in the perfect place to begin my hunt. I searched as many vintage stores as I could, and I found some incredible contenders, but none fit the bill. There was a bit of unexpected luck when a vintage Gucci belt from the 70s found me, and I got it for such a steal that I truly don’t think the store knew what they had. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know what I had until a day later when I flipped it over and saw the micro inscription on the inside. Back to the jacket, I had no luck on my search; the closest I found was a Banana Republic jacket, but it wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned.

Then I got serious…I got on eBay. “Ralph Lauren Fringe Jacket” into the search bar. I knew my favorite designer would have my back. I found the perfect piece, in perfect condition, and had it in my hands within the next week or so. I’ve yet to wear my new layer because of the Georgia heat, but the moment I tried it on, I felt so rewarded; it’s a level of excitement that only those who indulge in retail therapy can relate to. The Ralph Lauren light tan suede jacket with fringe across the upper back did exist, and it was finally mine. The hunt was over, and I had my new trophy.

You know when you visit someone’s home, more often an older person, and they have a collection of something? Fine china, glass statues, German beer mugs, fabergé eggs, and in my husband’s case, cars. Well, for me, I’ve fallen into collecting porcelain old men. My friends give me hell for it, because it’s such a random fixation, but I, for some reason, adore them. My most recent addition happened in Paris as well. I was on a morning walk grabbing my iced coffee, because the heat wave ruined my typical hot latte moment, and I was stopped in my tracks by an adorable local tea shop. I started in with the intent to browse for gifts, but I just couldn’t leave this little teapot behind. My newest addition is an old man shoemaker who happens to be dressed in yellow, with rosy pink cheeks, and a shoe on his head. Given my love for yellow and our yellow-accented kitchen, he was destined to be rehomed.

These are the things that I find make a home all the more interesting. The items that are unique to the owner’s life experiences–the things you ask about and get a personal story in return.

Not every find is a hunt, though. Some are pure gathering. Whether I’m searching for months or letting it find me, the rule remains the same: resist the almost-perfect, and wait for the thing that slaps you in the face so hard that you simply can’t resist. It’s how you find something that holds meaning, creates a story, and is the piece you secretly hope guests ask about. It’s all about intentionality, really — not a rulebook, just a refusal to settle.

Find your Bachét.